Just two seasons ago, I was a different person when football season came around. I was angry, resentful, suspicious, lonely, selfish, bitter, and so many more horrible words and ways. I was consumed by how hard MY life was when Chris was in football. After all, on his early nights, he gets home around 9pm. On game nights, it's like 2am. I have total responsibility of the house and the kids with no help. I used to lament about being a single mom from August until November (Dec. if they make playoffs). (This always hurt Chris's feelings.) I hated that I thought I was expected to be at games. This meant getting everyone ready and out the door right when I was normally putting them to bed. He works seven days a week, which means that there never is a weekend and I go to church alone. I would just close up and not even try to find time to connect with my husband. Year after year, we would go through this horrible cycle of becoming no more than roommates by the end of the season. Then, it would take a long time into his off season for our relationship to "heal." About the time things were good again, football season would come, and the cycle would continue. It makes me so sad to remember these days. What a waste of time!
As the years rolled on, I knew that this wasn't healthy and I began to pray. I prayed that I would love my husband. I prayed that I would have eyes for only him and that every part of me would need him. I prayed that God would show me again and again Chris's character, and that I would have peace in his love for us. I prayed that God would help me to see life through Chris's eyes instead of just mine. I wanted to appreciate his hard, long days, and see them as a sacrifice that he makes to provide for us. I prayed that I would be thankful that Chris has a job and that it is one that he loves and is good at. I prayed for God to reveal to me ways that I could help Chris, to love Chris, to serve Chris, and to pray for him.
Last season, I noticed that I was not angry. In fact, I was looking forward to the games! I didn't travel during the season like I used to because I didn't want to miss one! We were there cheering Chris and the Broncos on!! We had a GREAT season, and Chris and I never skipped a beat! We were a team and we supported each other.
Tonight was the first game of the season. As the new season begins, I already feel the loneliness creep in because of the long hours apart. I already feel overwhelmed as I teach my children and have a new baby in the mix. This season, though, I have HOPE!!! I know what God can do in my heart! I know how much better life is when I surrender to Him and His desires for me as Chris's wife. So, I continue to pray my prayers. You see, I am still the selfish person that I have always been. It is ONLY with God's grace that my heart can change.
Tonight was so much fun!!! I loved introducing our 8 month old to the excitement of football! I loved seeing his face all lit up with smiles and his little chubby hands clap when everyone else did! I loved the texts between Chris and me. I loved when Chris called me right before the game, excited and wanting to share that excitement with me. This is going to be a great season!!! You know why? Because we have a GREAT GOD!!!
Here are some pictures from tonight!
We unfortunately didn't get the traditional picture with Daddy at the end of the game, because Noah just couldn't last that long. We will try to make it to the end again next time. Maybe a really late nap would work!