As you can sense in the last two posts, I have still been rebelling about homemaking. It has still been about what I DO and accomplish. What does my house LOOK like and do I have great meals prepared. It has been about the selfishness in my heart as I see my family as hindrances to accomplishing these goals, my mess makers. I actually said the words, jokingly of course, but I meant them, "I could get a lot more done if it weren't for all the parenting needed." Oh how is saddens my heart and actually brings a lump to my throat as I confess that to you now.
I am praising my Father in heaven for always loving me, always being right there with me, and never giving up on me, but instead continuously growing me into the woman I am meant to be. A woman with a heart for Him alone! A heart that longs to serve Him.
Two days ago, I had one of the busiest days that I can remember. It included doctor appointments, dentist appointments, and loads of errands (with 5 children). Then, there were things to do when I go home, of course. I was exhausted and yet still couldn't manage to get to bed until 1:00AM, knowing I had to get back up at 5:30AM. You see, I am NOT a morning person, but the next day was a celebration of my husband's birthday. If I was to get everything done, I had to get to the grocery store, get back, and prepare his requested breakfast by 7:00AM.
Then, the shower of blessing rained on me! 5:30AM came and I rose, excited to serve my husband in this way! A little groggy, I reached for my phone and read an email from Raising Homemakers that deeply moved my heart. Because it was on my phone, I didn't have any of the pictures, just the message that told of her joy and love of homemaking, specifically in the area of hospitality. Well, God used this message to propel me through my day!
I was actually singing and bouncing along as I jumped out of my car at the grocery store. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face. I was actually there BEFORE the grocery store opened their doors (never happened before)! As I waited the couple of minutes, I greeted and was warmly greeted by several others up early to shop. As the doors to the store opened, I felt like my heart might burst with excitement! I know, this is getting corny, but it is so true! I went in hurrying to stay on schedule so that my breakfast would be ready on time.
As I approached the bananas, I was smacked in the face by a wonderful truth! I actually teared up picking out my bananas as I realized the honor and privilege it is to serve my family in this way. God has blessed us with the means and I was able to go in there and choose wonderful foods for my family to enjoy! With each thing I picked up, I realized it was for a meal planned for us to share together! All of the blessings in my life began to overwhelm me and I almost cried right there at the bananas!
I returned home, unloaded, and rushed in to cook breakfast before my family woke up. We then all enjoyed the food and the fellowship! How blessed I am to be able to prepare meals for my family! How blessed I am to have a loving family who enjoys coming to the table together to pray, read His word, and enjoy the company of each other!
I see planning and preparing meals in a slightly new way now. Mealtime is the main and most consistent time my family spends focused time together without the TV or other activities distracting us. I get to plan and prepare the food which brings us together! How exciting is that!?!
I expect to come off this high and have to face all my selfishness again very soon, but I am so thankful for my retreat with God right there at the bananas in the grocery store!! I will pray that He reminds me daily or even moment by moment of the blessings right here in front of me and gives me the strength to look on them as JOYS and not hindrances to my shallow "to-do's" of the day. Thank you, Lord!!!!!!
(I have linked this to a homemaking link-up! Go over and learn so many great things from women who also desire to serve their famlies and Lord through homemaking!)