Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The ugly side of motherhood...and then the beauty from the ashes.
Today, I heard a disrespectful attitude within my child as she argued back. As the day wore on, I got more and more annoyed. I was being more and more disrespectful right back at her. The other children moved around us as we kept an ongoing argument throughout the morning and early afternoon when it blew up into a full blown fight.
Wow. Ouch. How did it come to this? How did I end up yelling at the very child that I wrote several days ago was blessing me? How did it get this out of control?
As mothers, we are warned to have a gentle and quiet spirit. We are told to train up our children in the Lord. We are taught order and consistency. Consistency. That is the main thing that broke down here. In my laziness, business, or whatever, I lost consistency. I lost sight of the goal, to train up this child in righteousness. I forgot that her character was more important than getting that chore done or finishing that spelling lesson with the other child.
If at her first offense, I had responded calmly yet firmly, and I had given the consequence deserved, it most likely would have gone no farther. She would have seen her sin, said she was sorry, had her consequence and moved on through the day still in the loving fellowship of her mother. Neither of us would have been angry.
Instead, I either ignored the offenses or just fussed my dislike of the offense while still moving forward with my agenda. This does not teach. It does not train. It does not say that you and your character development are a priority to me because I love you. It says that this is a normal way to disagree with me. It says that I don't have time for you. It communicates all kinds of negative things that I do not want to communicate to these precious gifts that God has intrusted to me.
So, what is a mother to do? Humble herself. I first went to God and asked for forgiveness. I prayed for my child, for my child's relationship and walk with God, for me as her mother, for the huge responsibility of raising this person, for my need for a savior, for my need for His help and guidance, for my child's and my relationship. I prayed.
When I was through, and while still in prayer, I approached my child. I confessed my sin and asked for forgiveness. I listened humbly and quietly to the hurt I had caused. We talked about what could make our relationship better, stronger. I was apologized to, and I forgave.
Our God is a God of reconciliation, of unity, of forgiveness, of grace, and of love! He restores and heals our hearts. As long as we are clinging to Him, humbly acknowledging our need for Him, all will work for good!
Thank you, God, for these precious gifts. Thank you that you never leave my side. Thank you that I am not raising them alone, but that you are with me. Thank you for a godly, loving husband who walks with me and supports and encourages me. Mold me into the woman, wife, and mother that you want me to be. I pray my heart would never be closed to growth, never "arriving" until I am with you. I pray that you would show yourself, your love, to these children. I pray that they would grow to know you, to love you, and to follow you more and more each day. May they never lose the thirst to know you more!! In Jesus' name, Amen.
(This post is now linked!)