Proverbs 31 - Have you heard of it?

Several things are on my mind tonight. One is that I have told my husband recently that I need to pray more for our children. Oh, I pray for them every night, but I have lost the discipline of constantly praying for them throughout the day. In all my business, I have misplaced the most important thing I have to do! As I talked with my husband, we discussed how it is not us that changes their hearts, it is God. All my efforts in the world won't actually change their hearts. I need to release them, once again, to God. Praying for them acknowledges this and turns my thoughts back to God instead of myself and my own efforts.

Tonight, this thought hit me in a slightly new way. You see, I have been trying so hard to grow and mature and change MY heart. Yet, I haven't been consistently at the foot of the cross. I haven't been pouring over the scripture, the very words of God, written to speak to and change my heart!

Well, tonight, I decided to begin in Proverbs 31. This may or may not have been a good idea with the day I just had. I have to admit that at first, this passage made me feel much worse. At first, all that was there on the page were evidences of how I was not measuring up. Have you ever felt that way?

God sent his son to humble himself by living as human and dieing a horrible death so that He could conquer death and have relationship with us once again. He LOVES each of us so much!!! He knows our hearts. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He promises to never leave you and to continue to grow you in Him. You know what also? He loves your children just as much!

Today, I felt like such a failure. As I went through my day, I thought back on posts written and felt like such a phony. It all felt like theory, and really it all is. I felt as if all of it was so far from my reality. Today was just one of those days. I am so thankful for my God who is ALWAYS there to hear my cries, ALWAYS there through His Word, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS there with me, loving me.

Here is Proverbs 31. I want to commit this to memory, not to beat myself up with, but to keep me focused on the goal of a godly woman. We will never fully measure up, but we can grow closer and closer each day. I just read on another blog about how she recites this passage to her girls over and over as they grow up. This is a great way for them to be raised embracing this idea of the hard working, godly wife and mother in the home.

Proverbs 31: 10-31

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies,

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple;

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her;

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

A Friend's Wisdom Over Lunch

Today, I was eating lunch with a friend. As usual, parenting topics came up and she gave some advice that I found very wise. We were discussing daughters and the struggles that come as they enter the preteen/teen years.

Before I begin, I want to first say that, in our family, we do not accept the culture's definition of "teenager." We do not believe that there is an acceptable few years where irresponsibility and disrespectful behavior is expected and even accepted as a norm. Nor do we believe that gradually increasing fighting and disharmony in the home is the natural way for young adults to then desire to split from the family at the age of 18. We believe that as a child approaches adulthood, they are to be trained even more, so that they may know how to live out on their own. We believe that a respectful relationship that becomes closer and closer is necessary to allow the young adult more and more freedoms within the protection of home. This allows the child to experience the world little by little, observe mistakes, make mistakes, and learn all while communicating and learning from these experiences with their parents. That said, there are natural hormonal changes and new found desires that make the child want to form their own beliefs, find their own way, and discover if their way is what their parents say.

This is where my friend's wisdom came in and reminded me of some very real aspects of our growing daughters:
When a girl's body begins to change, she is also changing inside. God has designed her to desire to be a wife and a homemaker. She desires her own space to manage, even if she does not realize this. The problem is, is that she is still in her mother's home. Her mother is still the manager of their home (under the leadership of her husband). Especially in the current culture, girls have to wait a very long time, much longer than in past generations, to be considered an acceptable age to marry and leave the home. This is a large portion of the frustration that builds within girls of this age.

So, how does a wise mother deal with this? Here are some practical ideas.

*Allow her to be in charge of a meal. If she is old enough, she could even have a budget for the meal, plan it, and gather the ingredients while you are at the store. She could check out herself.

*Give her control of a room to decorate and keep tidy. It could be a bathroom, an entry way, and extra living area, anywhere. Allow her to have a bucket that is all her own containing her own supplies needed to clean that particular room.

*Ask her to help you plan the order of the home, like the chore schedule, meal plan, etc.

*Allow her to join you as you budget for the month.

*Help her to start a home business that she can keep running, coming to you for guidance. This is a good one to allow her a creative outlet.

*Allow her to begin a garden in your yard that she must maintain.

*Give her a subject in your school that she can teach. For example, older students are wonderful phonics teachers for your youngest learner.

There are many, many more ideas that would be helpful. Please share them if you want in the comments. The point is to show her that you respect her growth, value her ideas, and to give her a creative outlet. This is all while you are still there as mom to provide the guidance and boundaries needed for her specific maturity.

Preparing to get my girls on board

I can tell this journey is going to be a long up and down hill one. I am constantly battling with my selfish, sin nature. I am constantly battling with laziness. I am constantly battling with my old bad habits. Yet......

Yet, God is so faithful!!!! As I read scripture and learn about biblical womanhood, true femininity, what it is to be a wife, a mom, a friend, a servant, a witness, a homemaker, God is changing my heart. I can feel it! I know it is happening. Right now, I am like an infant. I need milk. I am learning in concept and the fruits aren't there yet.

So, how, when I am still in infancy, am I supposed to train my daughters? How am I supposed to begin instilling in them the lessons I am learning while I am still learning them? Through transparency as we learn together. How glorious for them to see my faults, my vulnerability, my need for my Lord and Savior. Only when I am humble, can I truly teach them.

I learned about Dannah Gresh about a year ago and want many more of her books. My husband just gave me, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters. This is one tool that I am going to be using soon! This book gives us time together while giving me the tools to teach them modesty, which has been an issue in our house. One daughter in particular, is really rebelling against our rules right now, but I don't have the words to teach WHY. Right now they are just rules. A large portion of what I desire for my daughters is that they learn skills to help them when they are married and have a family and home. I want them to also embrace God's calling for them as women. While this is going on, I pray to build a strong, intimate relationship with each of my girls that will last through their teen years and into their adult lives. I have been very weak in building this relationship. I am sad to say, there has just been too much fighting going on to build a relationship based on respect for one another. I pray these dates will give us just the break we need to really get to know each other as God made us, enjoy each other, and have many deeper, spiritual conversations.

I have also just run across some other resources that I am eager to get my hands on. Over at Raising Homemakers, she did a post about how to raise your daughters in biblical womanhood when we ourselves weren't raised this way. How do you implement something that doesn't come naturally and is actually foreign?

Here are the books I liked best and hope to order soon! Go to Raising Homemakers for even more resources and ideas.

The Girl's Guides - The Homemaker's Mentor

Future Christian Homemaker's Handbook - The Homemaker's Mentor

Beautiful Girlhood (and the Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood), by Karen Andreola

The King's Daughter and Other Stories for Girls, by J. White

Proverbs for Parenting: A Topical Guide for Child Raising from the Book of Proverbs, by Barbara Decker

Polished Cornerstones - Doorposts
(I also want to get the book, Plants Grown Up, which is the version for your sons and the CD that accompanies them both for easy print outs.)

I hope you find resources that help you also as you journey to follow God's leading in your life. Our daughters are so precious and our time with them so short. I pray we can take advantage of each moment from here on out!

God speaks to my heart about homemaking!

As you can sense in the last two posts, I have still been rebelling about homemaking. It has still been about what I DO and accomplish. What does my house LOOK like and do I have great meals prepared. It has been about the selfishness in my heart as I see my family as hindrances to accomplishing these goals, my mess makers. I actually said the words, jokingly of course, but I meant them, "I could get a lot more done if it weren't for all the parenting needed." Oh how is saddens my heart and actually brings a lump to my throat as I confess that to you now.

I am praising my Father in heaven for always loving me, always being right there with me, and never giving up on me, but instead continuously growing me into the woman I am meant to be. A woman with a heart for Him alone! A heart that longs to serve Him.

Two days ago, I had one of the busiest days that I can remember. It included doctor appointments, dentist appointments, and loads of errands (with 5 children). Then, there were things to do when I go home, of course. I was exhausted and yet still couldn't manage to get to bed until 1:00AM, knowing I had to get back up at 5:30AM. You see, I am NOT a morning person, but the next day was a celebration of my husband's birthday. If I was to get everything done, I had to get to the grocery store, get back, and prepare his requested breakfast by 7:00AM.

Then, the shower of blessing rained on me! 5:30AM came and I rose, excited to serve my husband in this way! A little groggy, I reached for my phone and read an email from Raising Homemakers that deeply moved my heart. Because it was on my phone, I didn't have any of the pictures, just the message that told of her joy and love of homemaking, specifically in the area of hospitality. Well, God used this message to propel me through my day!

I was actually singing and bouncing along as I jumped out of my car at the grocery store. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face. I was actually there BEFORE the grocery store opened their doors (never happened before)! As I waited the couple of minutes, I greeted and was warmly greeted by several others up early to shop. As the doors to the store opened, I felt like my heart might burst with excitement! I know, this is getting corny, but it is so true! I went in hurrying to stay on schedule so that my breakfast would be ready on time.

As I approached the bananas, I was smacked in the face by a wonderful truth! I actually teared up picking out my bananas as I realized the honor and privilege it is to serve my family in this way. God has blessed us with the means and I was able to go in there and choose wonderful foods for my family to enjoy! With each thing I picked up, I realized it was for a meal planned for us to share together! All of the blessings in my life began to overwhelm me and I almost cried right there at the bananas!

I returned home, unloaded, and rushed in to cook breakfast before my family woke up. We then all enjoyed the food and the fellowship! How blessed I am to be able to prepare meals for my family! How blessed I am to have a loving family who enjoys coming to the table together to pray, read His word, and enjoy the company of each other!

I see planning and preparing meals in a slightly new way now. Mealtime is the main and most consistent time my family spends focused time together without the TV or other activities distracting us. I get to plan and prepare the food which brings us together! How exciting is that!?!

I expect to come off this high and have to face all my selfishness again very soon, but I am so thankful for my retreat with God right there at the bananas in the grocery store!! I will pray that He reminds me daily or even moment by moment of the blessings right here in front of me and gives me the strength to look on them as JOYS and not hindrances to my shallow "to-do's" of the day. Thank you, Lord!!!!!!

(I have linked this to a homemaking link-up! Go over and learn so many great things from women who also desire to serve their famlies and Lord through homemaking!)

Lord, why did you call me to be a homemaker?

Yes, here I am again. I warned you that I was posting my JOURNEY. This implies hills and valleys. It implies rough spots along the way and painful lessons. It also implies that lessons will be learned, life will be changed, growth will take place, and celebrations will be thrown. I look forward to those. Right now, I am still taking one step forward and three back.

First, I have to say that I am loving the projects getting done around here!!! Our master bedroom has been a DISASTER!!! It has been the entire family's catch-all for everything we don't know what to do with. It has also been the emergency place to hide the mountain of clean, unfolded clothes that were covering the living room couch 10 minutes before you arrived at my house. When you show up, I greet you with a warm smile and a hug, hoping all the while that you don't accidentally open my bedroom door thinking it is the bathroom.
Well, no longer! I am not completely finished. I have some files to make so that we have places for some of the stacks and a few odds and ends to find homes for, but for the most part, the room looks GREAT!! You couldn't even walk in our closet! I unpacked 2 boxes that we hadn't even bothered to unload when we moved to this house 3 YEARS AGO! Yikes! We laughed at how ridiculous it was when we found missing things that were there all along. We also got rid of who knows how many huge garbage bags of clothes to a local charity. The closet looks amazing! I can't wait to continue working and finally have the sanctuary that Chris and I have wanted, OUR place to get away and rest in. OUR place. No one else is allowed to put ANYTHING in our room anymore!!!!!

The other wonderful thing that has happened, is that I AM CAUGHT UP ON LAUNDRY!!!!!! I want to scream that to anyone who will listen! I have 5 children who have clothes that have either been worn out or out grown that still keep getting in the laundry. The mountain was unbelievable! I have washed, sorted, and folded ALL of it!!! The kids now only have the clothes that fit them and they are back within the little laundry basket in their own room. Ahhhhhhhh! I think I got so far behind during our months of throwing up. All clothes took a back seat while I washed sheets and blankets after sheets and blankets. UGH! Those take up so much room and take so much more time to dry! Finally, no more to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My last praise, is that my daughters did a project for me that has been hanging over me for a long time. Our pantry/laundry room needed to be cleaned and reorganized again. They (9 yrs and 10 yrs) spent the entire day working and did a wonderful job! I love you girls!!!! Seriously, they saved me. Also, my Ashlynn (9), reorganized and cleaned out all our cabinets! WOW!!!! This is saving us so much time in the kitchen now!

I do have to say that I still don't think we are getting it yet. I don't think my daughters and I feel any joy in serving in this way. It is a pain. It is not what we want to be doing. We get frustrated at the level of junk that needs sorting through.  Sure, it feels good to complete a project, but a calling? So, even though the house is getting into better shape, I still feel I have a very long way to go before I can call myself a joyful homemaker. We still have a long spiritual journey to go.

Meal planning update...

Well, nothing new comes without a few hiccups. I am using Big Oven, but find myself very frustrated a lot of the time. My first complaint, is that I need to see at least a week at a time, if not the month. You can only see these views if you go to print preview. When I am trying to figure out what I want to eat, I can't remember what I have already put on other days. For example, I don't want chicken three night in a row, or a more difficult meal the same night that also has a breakfast prep.

I am sure my distaste for meal planning, cooking, and grocery shopping plays some part in my frustrations, but still, I want a perfect program. Who doesn't? I actually don't hate cooking all the time. I love when I prepare a meal that everyone loves! I just can't get the timing down so that I am not cooking too late in the evening. Our normal dinner time right now is about 7:00pm or 7:30pm which is WAY too late. It snowballs. Dinner too late means chores too late or not done at all and bed time too late. This puts me to bed too late and very grumpy the next morning.

My other problem has nothing to do with Big Oven. The cord that connects my printer to my computer has died. UGH!!! I am planning on going to Radio Shack tomorrow (but then, I have been planning that the last 3 days) to get a new one. Until then, computer meal planning is pretty pointless.

In an attempt to say something positive here, my family has been enjoying more balanced meals! We have enjoyed trying out some new recipes that I keep finding here and there from friends and online.

I look forward to all the growth I have room for in this area of homemaking!!! Someday, I will look back on this point in my life and laugh at how difficult I made everything. Until then......well, I pray to stay sane!

I WON!!!!!!!

I am so excited right now!!! Seriously, I am jumping up and down and running through the house!!! (Well, I was before I started typing.)

I WON!!!!! I went to this blog:


and entered her giveaway for a $100 Visa gift card!

I have entered a TON of giveaways and never, ever won. I am so excited to have won on THIS one!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a Lazy Mom is a WONDERFUL blog all about being a mom who wants to train up her children in the Lord. It is all about taking on that responsibility that God has given us to be the ones to teach our children and prepare them for their future. The more we teach them, the more they can do, therefore making us "lazy" moms! Get it? Are you a lazy mom? Visit I'm a Lazy Mom and find out!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, I'm a Lazy Mom!!!!!!!!!!