Thursday, May 28, 2009

Baby names?????

One of Chris and my biggest struggles is coming up with baby names. So, I was hoping you could provide some input.

Some info:
My name is Amy and our girls are Allison and Ashlynn.
My husband is Chris and our boys are Kevin and Kaiden.

There seems to be a pattern. This, unbelievably, was NOT our intention, totally. Now, I am really wishing we had some more diversity in the group. At the same time, it can't stand out like a sore thumb.

The meaning of the name is VERY, VERY important to us. If we don't like the meaning, it doesn't matter how great the name is.

One more thing, is that we don't want the name to be the most common out there. I grew up one of five Amy's in every room. It would be great if it wasn't most popular right now.

So, with that little bit of back ground, I would LOVE for you guys to name our baby! (Mainly because this part stresses me out! The pressure!) I have never been good with decisions and would be greatful for input.

We need boy and girl names. It is too early for us to find out, and we don't know yet if we will.
I can't wait to see what you come up with!!! Thank you!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The fog is rising (hopefully)

Well, I hit 12 weeks Monday and today (Tues.) is a little better. Actually, yesterday I felt a little more energy in bursts. Then I would crash. I kind of felt like I had had the flu or something and knew I was better, but my body was still coming back to life. Today I am MUCH better!!! I had a wonderful play date with a dear friend which was JUST what I needed. I haven't felt sick after eating and my mood is up and a little more optimistic. HOPEFULLY this is the new trend. I really don't want to sink back into the fog of sickness, tiredness, and depression. We will see....

Thank you to all the sweet friends who commented on my last post and who were praying for me. You are so special to me. I love you!!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My baby journey so far...

So far, this has been my hardest pregnancy yet. I was so excited to be pregnant, and I remember the longing to be. Now, I am totally overwhelmed.

This is the first of my pregnancies to feel so horrible all the time without throwing up. I guess, in that way, it is good. Throwing up on top of this would be MUCH worse. I have hormones problems now though, that I have never had. I don't even get crabby when I am on my period. Now all of a sudden, I feel like all of life sucks!

If I may just rant for a minute, this is my blog after all. You can exit if you like. Right now, I am overwhelmed with the kids I have. I can't seem to parent anymore, so discipline is crazy. I see the time I am wasting and I feel so sad about missing these days of their lives. At the same time, all I want to do is get away. Then, I remember another is on the way and I just cry. How can I handle one more, and what is wrong with me when so many I know have a lot more than this!?

The house is a wreck. No one has clean clothes to wear. We are out of many things, making it very difficult to come up with anything to eat. We are eating horribly. I am not doing basic things like pay our bills. We are behind on EVERYTHING and now I see that there isn't enough money there to cover them. I am supposed to be staying off sugar and trying to lose some of this weight before the baby starts really gaining. Not happening anymore. So, I just feel horrible and fat and lazy. I am too into myself right now, I guess, to even try to connect with Chris. I am so tired and sick and depressed, all I can do is lay in my dark bedroom and yell to the kids. By the time Chris walks in the door, which is really late, forget it. I am done for the day. This adds loneliness to all the feelings.

I know I am supposed to be able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me, but I feel so far from God right now, I have no idea how to draw on that strength.

Wow, I just re-read what I accidentally typed. I probably should delete it all, but I won't. Why. I know this is pathetic and sad. I figure no one really reads this stuff, so I can just journal and get it off my chest.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Baby update

Our little baby is 10 weeks along in its amazing development as of last Monday. I had a wonderful visit with our OB/Gyn! I loved the doctor and his staff, which was a HUGE blessing. Plus I got the exciting confirmation that yes indeed, there was a little person growing inside me!!! I got to see it moving and hear its strong heart beat! I just cried happy tears lying there on the table. God is so amazing!!!! The miracle of a new baby beginning its journey will never grow old no matter how many we have! How do people not believe in God? I just can't see how NOT to! I am so excited to get to know this little life!

I still don't know how to put one of those pregnancy trackers on my blog, but I will find out. I actually keep forgetting to ask. Maybe I will go do that now.....